Good Samaritan for Worthy Woman, Mother of Two

As a result of over ten years as a “front-lines” social worker (not to mention training facility for Grad students of Social Work), I’m generally jaded to the plight of the impoverished. I’m not saying that hardship doesn’t exist; I’m only stating that after ten+ years, I have seen the bad and the ugly, and very little good. This time however, I am compelled to share this heartfelt plea from a single mother of two:

She’s the “real deal” and I’m here to testify that this is NO SCAM. It seems she is pedaling her arss off and moving ever slower to the edge. PLEASE pass this on, and let’s get this hard working mother some temporary help. It just feels right. This is a plea from me to you, to help this woman stop the free fall. Some are just meant to be saved.

Much Love & Gratitude.

Adrenaline Addiction Means Constantly Manifesting Drama & Chaos In Order To Get A ‘FIX’


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You know someone like this: They are constantly living on the edge, either as a “drama queen” or “drama king,” or they are competing in dangerous activities such as racing, performing stunt actions, participating in extreme sports and so-called X Games, or drinking, smoking and imbibing too much.

Maybe this person (or persons) is constantly living in a roller coaster fashion of emotional highs and lows brought on by choices, although rarely recognized as having any input or control over the emotionally charged circumstances.

Perhaps this is a victim or an abuser, feeding on the constant flow of stressors and fear factors. Even victims get a charge out the victim behavior: While the victimizer has a huge rush of adrenaline before and during an attack, so does the victim who experiences the fight or flight reaction and must always be on high alert.

Some folks fight with drivers they’ll never really get to know, and others fight for parking spaces and end up on the Internet:

Certain professions feed this addiction to adrenaline: Realtors, Lawyers, Business Professionals, Astronauts, Military Personnel, Pilots, Stunt-Performance actors, and live stage performers all live hectic, adrenaline-fused lives unless they take the time to notice, and to calmly go about the business without the chaos and stress.

We LOVE a rush of excitement! Sometimes we make a very conscious choice to raise adrenaline levels by attending a scary movie or participating in scary or adrenaline-increasing activities that we call “fun.”

We participate in these activities because it is fun, and because we get a rush of adrenaline that makes us feel alive.

Sometimes our adrenaline is brought about because conflict resolution is a rare rather than typical means of communication. Humans fight over money, and even have disputes with co-workers. There is never a good reason for lowering oneself to a level of hostility.

It is when the addiction to dramatic moments demands one live in constant chaos with toxic levels of adrenaline pumping through the body that attention and action need to intervene. Hypertension, heart failure, stroke, cancer, and a plethora of maladies are brought about by stress and drama. It also leads to adrenal burn-out, adrenal fatigue is a dangerous and debilitating condition.

Chaos often masks an aversion to stillness, a fear of hearing and/or facing one’s inner voice. The fear of being alone with oneself triggers the constant level of mania and manifests constant drama, thus bringing the fix of the hormone.


The fix will kill you. The answer is in the stillness.

~As always, from Paris with love & light.

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President Obama Visits Las Vegas January 26th 2012


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President Barack Obama visited Las Vegas on Thursday. The pictures today are all shots taken at the gathering. His speech was focused mainly on clean energy.

Traffic Gridlocked when the local police department closed the roads so access to the President was restricted. Not necessarily because of “energy conservation” consciousness, folks turned off their engines, and got out and milled about as they waited for the barricades to be lifted.

Even UPS drives couldn’t gain access to the UPS facility where the gathering was held.

Look at the size of that tour bus!

Two of these, parked end to end, successfully blocked any inappropriate access to the President. And if the two buses weren’t enough of a barrier, look at the top right of the picture to see the snipers on the rooftop.

No word needed. When the air traffic flew over, these guys were ready for anything.

Look at the size of these binoculars! I’m thinking they can see the California coast from this perch in Las Vegas.

Yep. His eyes and binoculars are trained on me. Soon afterward the Secret Service crew and bomb sniffing dogs showed up to make sure all was well.

Close up of the bus.

Not so secret service is checking out the onlookers in my circle.

Just another day in the lives of security….

Look closely and you can see the backside of the big guy.

Young Obama supporters in Las Vegas.

HONK for PEACE! (I’ll honk until I’m blue if that’s what it takes for PEACE!)

Las Vegas’ finest motorcycle escort (1/2 of the whole group.)

Motorcade Mayhem.

And with that, he was gone. Air Force One leaves Mc Carran International Airport.

Empowerment is in the Silence


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Ram Dass said, “The quieter you become the more you can hear.” I’ve been in a deep pool of noise over the past few days as I traveled to the mourning & celebration of life services for my recently departed friend; it is such a relief to come back to my friendly keyboard with my thoughts slipping out of my fingertips.


I inhale deeply as I write that last sentence. It is quiet, serene and warm in my office. I take a moment to express gratitude for my safe haven. Soon it will change, as well-meaning friends will show up at the door to continue the flow of condolences over loss. Food spreads will line the counters and beer and wine will be consumed. Noise, an infusion of tears and laughter and anger and all the emotions that can possibly spill forth will fill the environment. Expletives and kind sentiments will explode to mask the heartaches, and little by little the venting will release the dam and the feelings of love will flow out with even more velocity than the pouring wines.

We each have our own ways of dealing, of mourning, and of living. I am mostly introspective, although friends would argue that I am not introverted. It depends, partially, on the company I’m keeping, I suppose. Loud boisterous types annoy my sense of self. I prefer whispers and intimacies over large gatherings. But I also speak publicly and facilitate gestalt training groups, so I am around groups of people often. Maybe that’s why the solace and solitude are so valuable when I can steal those oh-too-rare moments of quietness.

Ram Dass has it right. “The quieter you become the more you can hear.” And this is a wonderful thing, only for those not afraid to hear. A lot of folks are scared out of their skin to even consider being still and listening to the self. I see it every month in the gestalt groups; so many folks are so alienated from themselves that they refuse to allow even one second of quietness. They self-filter; they run (generally screaming and crying) quickly away. It is as though the silence contains too much truth. But can the truth ever be scary? Sunlight burns if you get too much, but truth??

There is great empowerment in the truth. I have witnessed miracles in personal growth, and it is because of these miraculous experiences that I wrote Escaping the Chrysalis. I cannot possibly reach every human on Earth with my gestalt groups. I can, however, provide the Tools for Transformation into Divine Wholeness. Gestalt is inside of each of us. And the gestalt tools for changing any behavior are contained in Escaping the Chrysalis: Tools for Transformation into Divine Wholeness. The release of the book is nearing, and my heart races with excitement for you, the reader, because I know the magic contained in the pages.

Until then, in the silence of your self, take 5 minutes each day to let the thoughts settle and chaos begin to make sense. Don’t fear the power of the quiet. Embrace the gift. Get in touch with you. You deserve to be gestalt/whole and balanced.

Thank you, often.

~As always, from Paris with love & light.


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Return From So Cal


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For anyone not currently living in 72 degree temperatures with a light warm ocean breeze blowing gently against your skin, my condolences. The beaches of Southern California are unseasonably warm this week, and the negative ions did much to alert me that fact.

My first book was written as I inhaled the negative ions of the Pacific, and I will, I fear, always have a deep romantic relationship with the coast. Try as I might, to live in other locales, I am drawn by the pull of the tides. I’ve spent years in other areas, but it is when I return that I feel I am coming home, and it is when I leave, that I feel the loss of love in my breaking heart.

This trip was different, only in that I was there for such a short visit. In that regard, it only adds to the emotion of deprivation that I sense. Such a short visit leaves me longing for more…like the thoughts of a lover fading into yesterday.

Any travel is good for helping one take stock of life, and of what is important. The sea is for me, and it is not for everyone. And the occasional earth rumblings make the California coast an area some folks shudder to consider. A few little earth quakes don’t bother me. As long as I can stroll on the boardwalk, breathe in the benefits of sea level living, and relax into a less stressful experience, I am content. And still, I am happy to be home, and back to my typical life as a writer and gestalt practitioner.

~As alway, from Paris with love & light.

Death and Energy


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Today I am on my way to California to attend a funeral for the brother of a close friend. The deceased was tormented for most of his life, and never learned that he held the key to his own release by means less drastic than hanging.

Suicide is a subject of which I know far too much. It is also an action that takes place far too often for my taste. In the United States alone, over 30,000 individuals each year “successfully” kill themselves. The youngest documented case is that of a five year old child. Yes, I know this is hard to believe, but it is true. Suicide is the number three cause of death for American adolescents ages 15-25. And although more males than females take their own lives, more females make the attempt. Males generally leave via bullets and/or ropes, but recently, females choice of tools has become hanging as opposed to drug over doses.

Suicide is that all too permanent solution to a temporary feeling of helplessness. But in the case of my friend’s brother, the pain had enveloped him for decades. He saw no other way out of the aching in his heart. He attempted to deaden the pain thru self-medicating and drowning in alcohol. In the end, his sense of self had become too diluted to stand stoic. His esteem was squelched and damaged and it seemed impossible that he would ever come up for air again. Down for the fourth or tenth time, he could not rise above his own life mire.

I’ve heard it said that, “he’s at peace now.” I don’t think so. I think the I Am, the consciousness of our whole spirit is still in chaos. Death kills the body, but the spirit is alive infinitely. This is reason enough to finish any loose ends prior to checking out, when at all possible.

Those left behind, the survivors left with such a deep pain of loss, are left with all the “what ifs” and “coulda, shoulda, didn’t,” and “whys”? Trying to make sense of the loss and of the residing anger at the deceased, the survivors take the roller coaster of emotions straight up and unnervingly straight down. Survivors step onto that same train car as crahsed the deceased head first into the pits.

Suicides are on the increase, correlating with homelessness, poverty, and unemployment. Suicides in the Military are also on the increase. This isn’t meant to be a buzz kill or to color your day with darkness. It’s only to spread a little light on a very dark subject.

The media doesn’t want to broadcast public service announcements or cover suicides as they fear the possibilities of “copy cat” suicides. I don’t think the media has much to worry about. Rather, I believe that if the media paid more attention to the good that various support groups are doing, perhaps a few less deaths might take place.

A FREE dowloadable related article by the author of Blessings in the Mire: Suicide Awareness

Blessings in the Mire: A True Story of Miracles & Recollections by Jan Deelstra

There’s a lot of good taking place. And there’s a lot to be curious about. What waits just beyond the next curve in the road? After the rocky, may be a smooth trail. And despite the feeling of helpless foreboding, the sun rises again.

Rest in peace Todd. May you stay in the arms of the angels until your pain subsides.

~As always, from Paris with love & light.  

   Need help? In the U.S. call 1-800-273-8255National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

The Zen of Knitting


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One of the declarations on my bucket list is to, “Learn to knit really well.” Except for that “really well” part, I’m almost ready to check knitting off my to-do list. I’m a pretty good scarf and hot pad manufacturer, but that’s as far as it goes. Too bad I didn’t simply make, “Learn to knit,” one of my aspirations. Determining if I’m “good enough” to cross it off as being achieved has become an issue between Id and Ego.

I took a knitting class. They offered free wine and had a huge fire blazing in the fireplace. It was like sitting around in a friend’s living room, sipping Merlot and comparing skill levels and talent, chatting with the kindred. It felt very accepting and nonjudgmental. We all learned that there are no “mistakes” in knitting, there are only “signatures.” My first few pieces were wrought with signatures.

I can knit, but I can’t purl. I don’t even know what purling looks like. But it doesn’t matter to me, because I don’t knit to impress anyone. I knit, because my mind is not tied into the project with the yarn. My mind is allowed to just be; to watch with what I like to refer to as perceptive intelligence, (the I Am spirit nature of me) as my hands are busily wrapping and tying and pulling and knotting the strand mindlessly around and back off of the chosen needles.

I actually watch myself knitting, my conscious mind watching my unconscious rote activities. As each knot is formed, there is an energy flow that travels from me and into that yarn as slowly, but eventually an item begins to reveal itself (Nothing akin to Michelangelo’s David, mind you!). My energy flows smoothly with the wooly thread as it winds around the clickity-clackity long, thin needles. Each knot is a conscious effort to add to the next, and to the last, and yet it is not a conscious effort at all. Each unforced knitting motion is made in order to achieve an outcome of creation. It requires no force.

Knitting has become something I can do while the rest of my self is busy with other activities. It’s relaxing, meditative almost. For instance, I can now knit and watch television, knit and talk, and I can even knit and sip a glass of Cabernet. But I cannot knit and write this blog.

Much of the time, knitting is a very personal experience. I seek out specific yarns for the individual I will be gifting the eventual creation to. As a gift, I made a gorgeous purple scarf for a very close friend. I trimmed it with glass beads and silk threads that made it appear to be a very couture scarf. Ironically, she gave me a gorgeous purple silk scarf she had picked up in London. I’m thinking I got the better half of that deal.

It all starts with just a skein, chosen deliberately for the exact hue, softness or stiffness, fatness, fineness, and/or artistry depending on what it is that I intend that ball of yarn to eventually become. Shopping for perfect yarn and for the corresponding needle size and of course, for any accentuating trims is a large part of the process in creation of the end result. In fact, the hunting and gathering experience is almost as much a Zen process as is the actual knitting.

Once the perfectly suited materials for the envisioned final outcome have been purchased, the relaxing and rewarding art of creation begins.  The entire event is a very holistic experience. It is calmly exciting to know that something pretty wonderful is about to be created.

Visualizing what will eventually come into fruition, and then creating the reality of that vision takes patience and a bit of movement in that direction each day. It’s also a pretty accurate metaphor for successful fulfillment in life.

I’ve learned a lot through knitting. As an example, I learned that agitating certain yarns will cause them to change, to transform into solid and very different conditions than they were in originally. All the care and concern must be taken with fragile hearts, err, I mean, with fragile wool yarns. Some of the most beautiful are the most difficult to handle, and some of the least expensive turn out to be surprisingly lovely. It’s a lot like interacting with people, I think. And each individual has his or her personal signatures.

Two people can take the exact ball of yarn, and the exact gauge needles, and create something extraordinarily dissimilar. One may create a tight, close-knit effect, and the other may have a loose and relaxed result. Neither is any better or worse; there is no right or wrong in knitting. In knitting, it is the process that makes the difference in the outcome.

I’m vowing to take at least as much time planning my next destination in life, as I spend choosing the perfect pieces for my latest creation in yarn. Life can be just as soft, or rigid, or rough, or flexible, or as colorful or muted as we determine to make it. It’s just like those scarves and hot pads. The end result is a simple matter of intention.

For a FREE bucket list download click this link: Bucket List Download

~As always, with love & light.

Automatic Affirmations for Manifesting Intended Results


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Positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time. One or the other must dominate. It is your responsibility to make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominating influence of your mind.”  Napoleon Hill

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Affirmations work. Whether consciously made as a means of intentionally creating a positive event, or mindlessly stated, affirmations absolutely create reality.

Life is busy and time passes and consciously affirming reality takes time away from other duties. Too often affirmations are only a new year chant that quickly fades away before the Valentines are delivered. More often than that, affirmations are made in passing as a self-depricating joke or sarcasm.

Because I believe so fully in the power of intention and in the right use of affirmations, I have created a way of unconsciously affirming the best life possible. For each of my online accounts that require a password, I have created an affirmation to be used as the passwords.

Each time I log into any account, I am using a personal affirmation. Because much of my life is spent logging in, I am repeating affirmations daily, without thinking. My brain chemistry is triggered, reinforcing the affirmative message. Like a Pavlovian pup, I subconsciously respond to the affirmative intent as soon as I reach for the keys. There is no stress to set aside a specific time for conscious creation. It happens daily without my having to make a fuss or sit lotus position in my serene space.

Consider a few words that represent any behavior you wish to attain. Perhaps you are seeking to improve upon self-love. An appropriate password to affirm the improvement could be selflove, iloveme, lovable, iheartme, affirmme, IMworthy, etc. Each time you log in using the affirmation you are sending a positive message to your self and to the reciprocal universe.

Maybe you are intending more wealth come your way. In this case a password such as rich1, iattract$, wealthy1, $mart, affirmdough, $martmktr, mon3ymagn3t, or any personal message that affirms your wealth is appropriate. The affirmations are limited only by your imagination, and can be changed at any time desired.

Because expressing gratitude begets more for which to give thanks, creating a password that reflects gratutude is effective in attracting positive experiences. Thx, givethx, Bthankfl, IMblessed, thxU, or other similar expressions of gratitude are key reminders of how much there is to be thankful for.

You may have chosen to be a bit more mindful of the ways in which you interact with others. Deciding to be a kinder and more considerate magnet of resonating frequencies is a good strategy that can be nudged painlessly along with passwords such as BKind, Bpatient, g1v3mor3, lov3hardr, etc.

On a global scale, teachpeace, BPeace, BReal, lov3all, send out a high-spirited vibe of oneness with all. In fact, variations of oneness, 1ness, 1N3$, look to be powerful password/affirmation for supporting world peace.

Maybe you could benefit from a lift in overall personal self-esteem. In that case, worthy1, loveable1, improvingdaily, $mart&$3xy, or any positive message about self-worth can be useful as a daily password. My personal favorite is “IAM” as it covers the whole/gestalt concept of high vibrations in mind, body, and spirit identity.

Whatever affirmations you use, have a good time and affirm some fun, humour, and laughter into your life. Each day as you affirm positive into your life, breathe in the oxygen and express gratitude for one more priceless moment.

~As always, from Paris with love & light.

***Read a *FREE* excerpt from Escaping the Chrysalis: Tools for Transformation into Divine Wholeness  ~: Escaping the Chrysalis: Affirmations (synopsis Chapter 7)

~Thank You, Often. ;~)