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There is a common human tendency that on the surface, is difficult to comprehend; that is the tendency to make one’s self appear to be ‘unloveable’.

Why Would Anyone Want to be Unloveable?

Creating an aura of ‘unloveablility’ is rationalized for several purposes:

  • Creating a facade of unloveablility is a rationalized reaction for protecting the heart from being broken.
  • Persons create the unloveable persona as a barrier. The rationale here is that if another cares enough to penetrate the walls despite the displayed facade of unloveability, it proves that the caring person can see through to the real value. This is a narcissistic response from a damaged ego.
  • Poor self-esteem creates the grounds for perpetuating the emotions of not being loved, and translates to ‘unloveable’. An imbalanced sense of self, separation between body, mind, and spirit are at the core of this unloveablity tendency.
  • Using slovenly hygiene is a common way of displaying inner feelings of self-worth (as those emotions translate into a belief of being unloved, thus unloveable). This lack of personal hygiene is a visible sign of a poor self-esteem translated outward, and perpetuating the cycle of unloveability.
  • A manifest aura of unloveability can be used as a defense against expectations. In other words, if one is portrayed as unloveable that person has few or no networking companions, thus, no one to make expectations. This too goes back to issues of poor self-esteem.

Creating a personal drama of unloveability is a dark playground where too often the whole self is drown in the quicksands of the mire. The negative frequency is a heavy anchor and can be a struggle from which to break free. Especially in younger persons who are trying on new behaviors, this energy frequency is a dangerous place to linger. This may be the vacuum that sucks suicidal children to their deaths.

Manifest This!

These days, more and more we hear about the power of manifestation, of tricks and secrets for manifesting. The word manifest has taken on a new-age meaning of getting what we want from thin air. Here’s the secret: there is no secret. What is true is that everything is manifested through our thoughts and our actions, consciously intended or not. A dark and dreadful life is manifest thru dark and negative thoughts and actions, whether the one living the events takes an active role or passively allows life to wash over. Concurrently, an enlightened existence is born of higher frequency ideas of conscious manifestation.

But What Does All This Mean?

If thoughts are being consciously useful in creating one’s life, chances are that the life experiences are not those of the unloveables. Because, as a natural law of attraction (the vibrations of like attracting like), when we are vibrating at the higher frequencies we are simultaneously attracting positive high vibrations from all sources: persons, events, opportunities, perspectives. Our thoughts (mind), actions (body), and intent (spirit) do in fact manifest whatever we are magnetizing. This happens whether we are intending specifics to come to fruition, or if we are playing a role as victim with no control whatsoever over life events.

What Do You Want? How Do You Get It?

Only when we are aware of what we are projecting, can we be aware of what we are actually manifesting. The first question to ask is, what do I want? Asking yourself what it is that you actually desire, and then taking a look at all the ways you may be self- sabotaging your bounty, is the foundation of manifesting a whole and balanced life experience. When you realize what you want, you set your wings for the projectory of your choice. It is a choice.

How few folks wake up to the realization that we alone create our experience? Most of us take more time planning the next vacation than we spend designing our life. By the seat of the pants is the cliché of masses. IT’S YOUR LIFE. Isn’t that liberating?


For the unloveable person still reading this, please do your whole self a favor and start with a shower and a shave. Use some lotion and toothpaste too. Care for your body as it is the vault of all your valuables. When you look into that mirror, that reflection is the indicator of all the valuable parts of you. It is the expression of your alignment, body, mind, and spirit. Mindfully caring for your outer self is only the beginning. But it is a beginning. Each time you look into the mirror I want you to feel proud. Do something every single day that builds on that sense of improvement, that builds self-confidence and self-esteem. There is really no such thing as an unloveable. There are only pitted and fractured whole selves starting to be enlightened to the truth.

Gestalt is the sum, the whole, balanced and perfect in human condition. Gather the pieces and embrace the whole gestalt self. Align your whole valuable self and embrace your power. Allow yourself to be loveable. Start by loving you, completely.

~As always, from Paris with love.